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New day for the Pregnant girl

So I finally woke up on the right side of the bed. Being pregnant has jjust made me way more sensitive, physco, and very bi polar = emotion storm. My poor boyfriend has to suffer. I really do try not to get mad such rubbish but at times i just find myself ready to explode. Tips ladies? Particularly someone who can relate.

But anyways, I am ready for a new day...I really do want to spend the fourth with him I don't like making these threats but i feel i have to put of this wall or my anger will really get to me. I've always been this way...I am going to eat breakfast, meditate, find what i need for my grandmas today, go to work, do some yoga ect. "Healthy things" So hopefully my mind is a bit more stable today.

On other notes I just watched Coco Chanel the movie and shes absolutely amazing definatly adding her to my favorite women of all time. I noticed all the women i admire aren't married... Jane austen, coco chanel, rory gilmore they all in the end lose their love and choose their work and keep pushing forward!

anyways all for now.

Au Revoir`

Its official

September 10, 2009 my grandpa called me fat.

Well not those direct words, you are fat more like you are going to end up looking like your grandmother soon.

Fasting begins tommrow five days tiny writsts,thin thighs, flat tummy, tiny waist.

I have work soon oh welll.

Tommrow my day off!!!

I had an amazing time with Bobby...I like him alot :/ le sigh i know hes bad news. I know hes going to pull a Dom and break my heart. I want to be his girl but i know that will never happen he will never love me.

oh well...

focus on success and perfection<3

New day

Not really ready for it...Working 11 to 6 pm... latee oh well, however im hanging out with this guy tonight...I hope it goes okay.

The sad truth

I couldn't resist that peach pie :/

Oh well...

On a Happier note, I finished that marvelous book a glass castle and i recommend it to anyone and everyone<3

I hope tommrow goes well... But i guess we will see.

Any recommendations of good books, or online essays, articles?!?!?



I got a new book today and jeans, but the book more excites me... Its called the Glass Castle and it really is amazing... whitty and funny as hell.

Ahh one of my new favorite quotes, " You can't own the stars<3"

First day of fast is going well except for the temptation to eat that lucious peach pie and vanilla churned icecream down stairs....

But I can't because I see Bobby tommrow.. :/ Ughhh

I am excited to see him but I want that damn pie.

Todays Agenda

For todays agenda, it includes...

Working 2- 10:30 Ugh. Well At least its Money

Things I must accomplish...

1 hour of classical music
Take all my pills( fish oil, birth control ect...)
Six cups of green tea(havent started that yet)
Take out Garbage.
Read rest of the Julia Book
3 bottles of water.
Start five day fast....
Put on contacts

alright more later

Au revoir

Time for a Positive beginging

I have been so negative in my life it is time for a fresh new start!

I want to start achieving things and being happy and doing many things! As well as becoming independent.

I am currently reading Julia child's- Memoir and it just inspires me to be passionate about everything.

List of somethings I want to do. (Random not in order)

1.) Learn to make really good fresh jam(Random I know)
2.) Speak fluent french
3.) Learn kanji and chinese charecters
4.) learn about healing foods and herbs and remedies
5.) become a history Buff
6.) Get breast implants
7.) Become a pro at contortion
8.) belly dancing,ballet, ballroom.
9.) own many different kinds of tea!
10.) Collect china, and prints!
11.) become even more obsessed with harry potter
12.) get educated in LOTR AND starwars
13.)get my drivers license.
14.) get smaller...
15.) become an expert in literature!
16. get smarter

blahhh just so many random things! I wil get more organized in time this is just a vent.

Drank to much

the house is spinning. people moving fast around me. you  grab me by the hand. i trust you. we enter a small room. a laundry room. a guy was already in there. you put me on the dryer...and it begins..

I just want my Dom:/ i hope he likes me as much as i like him. I'd do alot for him... maybe thats bad :/

January 10th

Dom asked me to be his girlfriend:] It really just made me the happiest girl in the world. And i decided i think im going to stop drinking completely. Im so content with just having him as mine.


something happend last night that also made me want to stop drinking...I had no control..and  at a party i was at.,.... i think i was raped :/ double raped...two guys... :/// i dont wana tell anyone though :// because the people at this party would prolly freak out.. but these two guys took me in to the laundry room...and...it was just bad

My first day of school

So the weekend and long break i've had is finally over and i start school today...late start =// But im ready and excited. My heart still really aches for Dom but i don't think he wants me like i need him... So im going to try really hard and not focus on him and just focus on school...Max is talking to me again...We will always be friends but nothing really more, its too hard when hes constantly on the move to discover the unknown. Btw, i just need to focus on school-getting in shape-and god- that will make me happy:D